The Autumnal Solstice occurred at 9:21 a.m. CST. I sat out on the front porch for Summer’s last few minutes to soak in the warmth from the sun. Already I could sense a difference in the sun’s heat as it washed over my toes on the porch steps. I snapped this picture at the exact moment…and then I wept. I wept! I seriously cried actual tears over the arbitrary passing of Summer into Fall. I sobbed into my open palms. A well in my soul just burst at the realization that, in spite of the fact that it the temperatures today are set to climb into the high 80’s, by the calendar and the clock and the sun’s position in the sky, Summer is over. My Summer.
I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I LOVE summer. I love the longer periods of light. I love the warmth (yes, even the humidity). I love the garden. I love the cookouts. I love the relaxed, easy feeling that comes with summer. I love the clothes, the foods, the scents, the sights…the way the sun feels on my skin. I LOVE SUMMER!
I’ve always felt blue when Summer passes into Fall, but I’ve never had such a strong reaction about it before. Not this visceral. I just suddenly felt an emptiness. Like I lost something that I will never get back. In spite of all I’ve done this Summer, I feel as though I’ve wasted an entire season, that things were left undone. I feel as though I failed and it hurts. All of this supposed preparation for Fall and the cooler months, all of this seeking the good in that which I dislike and fear, what was it for? I don’t like Fall and I can’t make myself like it. Not as much as I love Summer anyway.
I write this, not because I seek comfort or your reason’s why I should like YOUR favorite season. I write because this reaction has surprised me so. I write it because I know I can’t be alone. I am a girl of Summer. No apologies. This is who I am. For the next 271 days I will do my best to tolerate the colder months of the year. I will pull the covers tightly under my chin, I will sip my tea and wear my slippers and curl up with the dog and sleep more. I will plan for my warmer days. I will also spend today outside, soaking up the sun’s rays, because I don’t care what the calendar or the clock says, it’s still Summer-like weather and I will not waste this warm and sunny day inside!
See you later!