Precious I Am Not (Anymore)

I recently read a post by Bad Yogi about not being so “precious” with ourselves and the way we go about our daily lives. The statement directly connected to her decision to make a personal decision about not making the “safe” choice for once and getting her hair dyed purple. The overall message, at least for me, was to start making decisions that take what I desire into consideration in spite of what others may think. Here it is in her exact words.

DON’T BE SO PRECIOUS! 🙅🏼‍♀️ The main reason for dying my hair was just that I wanted to, but a secondary reason was because as I enter my 30s, I want to stop being so precious with myself. I’ll explain that…

I’m pretty thought-out. I’m not impulsive and I almost always choose the responsible, sensible option in every context. Get the funky, cool sneakers or the ones that go with everything? The ones that go with everything. Paint my nails turquoise or a classic red? Always a classic. Go get my hair done for my birthday and do what I always do, or go all out with something totally different? Well… 💁🏼‍♀️ On any given day, I’m almost ALWAYS working to avoid discomfort or the simple risk of discomfort instead of just living life and experiencing whatever comes my way. Not that I think we should ignore the risk of something genuinely dangerous, but I’m talking about the little things. Like getting over your concern for twisting an ankle if you go ice skating, choosing NOT to worry about your really nice coat getting a little damp when it starts raining, ordering the unique entree at dinner and not thinking it’s a big deal if you don’t like it.

When I say I want to be less precious, these are the kinds of things I’m talking about.

Enter the lavender lob 🙌

So today I’ll leave you with the mantra: #stopbeingsoprecious

Spend the extra $6 and put truffles in your risotto at dinner.

Take the skiing lessons even though you might fall.

Cut your hair.

Dye it purple. 😜💜

#badyogi #badyogisunite

I really related to the responsible and sensible option to avoid discomfort. That word responsible rings in my ears almost every time I have a decision to make and that is why this timely post struck such a cord with me. Let me explain.

You see, I quit my job about 2 years ago to resume my long time, stay-at-home status. I made this decision for many reasons, not the least of which was that I wanted something more for myself. I wanted to do something that made me happy. I wanted to start my own business. So not the safe option but I had to try. (I guess I’m not always playing it safe).

Nearly a year ago, I stepped out on my journey sewing aprons, bow ties, children’s dresses and the like. In this past year I’ve seen some success, but I’ve had a lot of trouble getting things up and running because I cannot put my dream first.

See, when you stay at home people assume that you have a schedule that is flexible or, in some cases, no schedule at all. So, when family or friends have a question, they want to drop by or they need me for something, I get the call because I’m home and I will do it because…it is the responsible thing to do. I can sew, clean, do the wash, organize a 4-H meeting, plan menus or make a grocery list any time, after all. If I can avoid disappointing people I will almost always take that path. I’m being “precious” with my image. I want to make people happy. I WANT you to like me. I am the one saying “Anytime is fine, I’M HOME ALL DAY.”  No reason why I CAN’T make my schedule flex to accommodate the needs of others, but there are reasons why I SHOULDN’T.

Being “precious” with ourselves, to me, speaks to preserving something about ourselves. In my case, I always worry that people won’t like me if I deny them what they want. If I say “NO” to someone they might be put out with me. A dangerous policy to live by, actually. Why would I preserve this need to be liked at the risk of losing those things that I WANT…or more? Things like the creative outlet of sewing and the opportunity to grow a business or even my well being.

I realize this is probably taking Bad Yogi’s post further that she might have initially intended, but when she talked about making the “safe” choice over that choice of a “riskier” nature that she might really enjoy, it really hit home.

So Friday I sat down and I found a business planner online, purchased it, printed it out and put it together. Then I went to my business’ Facebook page and added OFFICE HOURS. No more losing those hours for sewing and planning and marketing because my entire schedule got re-arranged. Starting Monday emails and texts will go unanswered, Facebook will idle between 9 a.m. and 2 p.m. 4-H work will get done before or after hours. This time will be set aside for me to create, to produce, to find events where I can showcase my wares, to WORK.

20180211_091633.jpg

Just because someone does not work outside of their home, doesn’t mean they have no routine or job to accomplish everyday. But, the blame for my situation lays squarely on my own shoulders, not those who assume I can always be available. When I say to another, “I’m home all day, drop by any time”, do not honor my needs and dreams and I most certainly do not value MY time. ALL fingers are pointed at me in this case. That changes now and I think more people will support me in this than those who will be mad.

How ever it turns out, I already feel better about my decision to value what is important to me. This decision may even manifest itself in some crazy, outward way too. In a way that many might judge as not appropriate for a “woman of my age” After all, I stopped coloring my hair when I found out I was going to be a grandma 7 years ago because I wanted to “grow gray gradually in front of them so they wouldn’t be shocked when one day they walked in to see me with snowy white hair”. Yes, really, this was my rationalization for stopping something I really enjoyed doing.

The preciousness stops here.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s